There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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