Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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