And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
