p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize