Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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