Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
