Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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