ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I will pee on everything he values.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
