Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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