You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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