Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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