let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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