Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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