Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Text me some of your sweat
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
