to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm bleeding and have questions
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
