Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just threw up on my dentist
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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