I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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