I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
