You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
