the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Randomize
