I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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