im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
