I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
