What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
