My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Randomize
