I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
