I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
