You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Drake has all the answers
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
