that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I enjoy the company of your penis
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