i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
