I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
