I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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