She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
