I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
