Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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