no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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