Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
