fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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