sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
