I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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