This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
