Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Found your dick twin last night
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
