Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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