Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
