btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
