I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize