Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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