I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
