why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
