all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
