Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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