So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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