But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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