So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
