PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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