and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
