Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
