Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
