her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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