i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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