Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
