Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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