i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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