Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
