stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
