I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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