i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
This show inspires me to have sex in space
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
