My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
